Her friendship was more important to me than any other friendship I'd ever had before. I'd had other close girl friends before, but my feelings toward Jenna felt different, more intense. That wasn't the only time I was confused by the things Jenna made me feel. I felt weirdly excited, but quickly brushed the thought out of my mind. "All my attention would be on you anyway," she said. "We have so many inside jokes that it wouldn't be any fun for the guy - we'd be laughing too hard," I fired back. Even though I knew he was just making a dumb, immature joke and I had never even kissed anyone, the idea of hooking up with Jenna didn't gross me out, and I found myself actually thinking about it, which was weird. It became our little inside joke that we were "dating."Īs the rumors spread around school that we were "more than just friends," one of the guys on the soccer team joked that people were going to start asking us if we'd have threesomes with them. I liked that people linked the two of us - I was almost proud. Our little stunt started a rumor around school that we were dating. We switched seats in all of our classes, and we genuinely confused a few classmates and teachers. Jenna put on heels and a skirt and I wore running shoes and her soccer uniform. We even dressed up as each other for Halloween the next year. When she was fighting with her mom, she'd drive to my house, and I'd patiently listen to her vent. If she was considering a new outfit, she'd text me for my opinion. When she had a homework emergency, she'd call me for help. Even though I felt bad, I was secretly thrilled because it meant she had more time to hang out with me. Then Jenna tore a tendon in her ankle and had to quit the soccer team for the remainder of the year. If she smiled when I came up with a good idea, or laughed when I told a funny joke, it would make my day. If there was a group project, she would always slide down to my table and offer to pair up with me. So even though we had been inseparable in yearbook, I was still surprised when she was friendly to me.
I was the quiet, shy girl who didn't have a lot friends. She was everything I wanted to be: popular, smart, athletic. When I walked into English class the next semester and saw Jenna sitting there, my stomach knotted up. We worked well together, and it soon became a given that we would be partners, and it stayed that way for the rest of the semester. Jenna waltzed into the room, and to my surprise, took the seat next to me. I came from a small middle school of just 30 students, so my 1,400-student public high school was overwhelming. Even though I'd been at my school for a year, I still wasn't fitting in. I walked into yearbook class sophomore year of high school and took a seat at an empty table. It wasn't until I met Jenna* that things began to change. Growing up I had crushes on guys in my classes and the requisite cute male celebrities.